Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The Bernies reading their favourite book
How far is too far?
(a) Infiltrating websites under an assumed name, so you can contribute to forums dealing with topics vaguely related to internet dating and innocently finish by saying you'd just read a great book on the subject?
(b) Joining book discussion groups, purely so you could mention that you'd just read a great one about a bloke who became obsessed with chatrooms?
(c) Contacting newspapers in Bromley ( where you were born and raised ), Oxford ( where you went to live after leaving home), Leeds ( where you worked for two years ) and Manchester ( worked for two years there as well ), telling them all about a local author's new book.
(d) Going into chatrooms under the name Lord Brett Sinclair and when asked about the name, say you got it from a brilliant book you'd just finished.
(e) All of the above.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Infrequently asked questions - part 1.
Are any of the characters in the book based on real people?
Yes. 4 or 5 of them are people I met online. I did change the names, but that may not be enough to avoid legal action. The book's baddie was certainly real, but I had to make him seem slightly more intelligent, as no-one would believe that anyone could really be so stupid.
How long did it take to write?
I started in 2000, when I wrote the first 20000 words. I sent these to a local publisher who rejected it, saying it was " a little vulgar for our tastes, I'm afraid". After sulking at this for the next five years, I decided to finish it after Friday Project showed an interest.
Was your life really as sad and meaningless as the book suggests?
Are you going to be writing another book?
Only if this one sells enough to let me pay off my credit card.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
This man is the enemy.
Meet the appallingly-named Bud E-luv. I'm sure he thinks his name is most amusing. BUT I DO NOT LIKE HIM OR HIS NAME. Every time I google e-luv, in order to find gushing praise for my book, what do I get? I'll tell you. Pages and pages about the ironically-moustached lothario you see here talking into his ironic 80s cellphone. Retire NOW, Mr Bud E-luv or face the consequences of my WRATH.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Another interview. And I learnt a new word.
The word I learnt was "subbing-in" Actually, it's more like two words and apparently it means the act of pre-selling books into the shops. Anyway, the reason I know this is that I asked Clare, the Publisher, how sales were going and she said that it had been subbed-in to the shops. I also discovered that e-luv is going to be part of a 3 for 2 promotion at Waterstones and will also be available at all the chains like Ottakers, Borders etc as well as all the indie shops. It's also available at Amazon.co.uk, where it currently occupies the highly prestigious 123,291th position.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
This was almost the cover
Before the much-loved ( by me ) present cover, this was the frontrunner. Maybe it's just as well it didn't see the light of day - according to one reader, Mrs SC of Tooting, no woman would ever buy it with that on the cover. Just about every female I know agrees. Still, I thought it had a certain seedy charm..
Monday, June 19, 2006
The first review. Of sorts.
My parents would be proud. Not only have I written a semi-pornographic book, but I've also got it reviewed in a magazine devoted solely to the enjoyment of illegal drugs. Still, after being described as "lonely, insecure and pathetic", things can surely only get better. By the way, if anyone can tell me whether this is a positive or negative review, can they please let me know?
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Things have deteriorated slightly
Obsessive Amazon checking
Obviously, it would be obsessive behaviour to check your Amazon ranking several times a day. But how else would I find out that e-luv had soared to the previously unscaled heights of 7,663? Which is a vast improvement but not exactly what I was hoping for.I imagine there'll be more obsessive behaviour later, when I give in to the temptation to Google the book's name in a desperate attempt to see if I can find anyone saying something nice about it.
The launch that no-one noticed
This was the expectation:
A burst of activity involving praise from various publications and a rush of buying to match the publisher's previous book of 1000 sales in the first day.
Emails from grateful readers, telling me how much they enjoyed it, having snapped it up as soon as it appeared in the shops.
This was the reality:
Absolutely nothing happened. After frantically checking Amazon all day, it failed to budge from being their 168,049th bestseller. It's hard to imagine that this represents more than a handful of sales.
This could be tougher than I thought. While it's probably too early to think about e-luv being a total flop, I'll be relieved to see some activity. Any activity. I would buy a copy myself, but I can't afford it.