Despite today being one of the most hideous in living memory (had to sell car to pay the rent) , I present the much-anticipated round-up of 2006, honouring the year's best. I was going to post this a few days ago, but the internet has been down because someone drove a truck over a cable.
LADYBLOG OF THE YEAR
. Never a dull post, as she covers a variety of topics including plaster knobs, insane garderners, twatty neighbours and avoiding work. Someone give her a book deal.
MANBLOG OF THE YEAR
is magnificent. It's addictive and unflinchingly honest. Far better than those books which claim to give an insight into the workings of the male mind and end up doing no such thing. It is also VERY funny.
BOOK OF THE YEAR APART FROM E-LUV
The best thing I've read all year is The Mayor of Lexington Avenue by James Sheehan which would probably be categorised as a legal thriller, but it's much, much better than that. It was dead exciting and dragged me in completely.
TV OF THE YEAR
Truly, Madly, Deeply - a funny and moving documentary about a dating service for those who would never be allowed anywhere near a conventional dating agency. Runner up: Young@heart, where a choir of senior citizens covered songs by Sonic Youth, James Brown, and The Clash (or as one of the grannies called them, "Crash").
FILM OF THE YEAR
Kenny. Despite being Australian and therefore, inevitably packed with toilet gags, it somehow managed to be laugh-out-loud funny with the most endearing lead character I've seen in ages. He would be a great Trevor in e-luv: The Movie. As would the bloke who wrestled naked with Borat, in my second favourite film of the year.
CD OF THE YEAR
Was Saint Etienne's Tales from Turnpike House this year or last? I can't remember. If it was 2006, then it is this year's best. If it was 2005, I shall go for the Handsome Family's Last Days of Wonder for the words, voice and tunes.
SONG OF THE YEAR
Resisting the temptation to be willfully obscure, the winner is LDN by Lily Allen, because it makes me smile - even when hearing it for the 1000th time. I also liked Hypnotised by Aberfeldy, Kathryn Williams' fab version of Thirteen, My Cosmic Autumn Rebellion by Flaming Lips and Made up Love Song by the Guillemots.
BOOK IDEA OF THE YEAR
Go into a chatroom pretending to be a girl. Get blokes to say humiliating and incriminatory things. Put it out as a book. Dress as a woman for the cover. Wish I'd thought of it, but Biffo
did and it comes out in 2007, through the fabulous Friday Books. I hate Biffo.
BEST E-LUV THING TO HAPPEN OF THE YEAR
Having e-luv in the window of Waterstone's in Edinburgh, alongside The Kite Runner. Truly my 15 minutes.
TWAT OF THE YEAR
The bloke who drove his truck over the cable.
PERSON OF THE YEAR
My wife, Liz. For putting up with yet another 12 months of promises that things will get better, without complaining. 2007 will be our year, I promise.