Infrequently asked questions - part 1.

Since the media are being inexplicably slow in picking up on the genius that is e-luv, I will answer some of the questions which incisive journalists would be asking if they were interviewing me.

Are any of the characters in the book based on real people?

Yes. 4 or 5 of them are people I met online. I did change the names, but that may not be enough to avoid legal action. The book's baddie was certainly real, but I had to make him seem slightly more intelligent, as no-one would believe that anyone could really be so stupid.

How long did it take to write?

I started in 2000, when I wrote the first 20000 words. I sent these to a local publisher who rejected it, saying it was " a little vulgar for our tastes, I'm afraid". After sulking at this for the next five years, I decided to finish it after Friday Project showed an interest.

Was your life really as sad and meaningless as the book suggests?

No, sadder.

Are you going to be writing another book?

Only if this one sells enough to let me pay off my credit card.