Remember me?

I have a new sales strategy.

It involves digging deep into the past, tracking down people with whom I ever had any form of contact and sending them an email.

The list includes old babysitters, friends of friends, former workmates and a bloke I once set on fire

After a few well-chosen phrases like " It's been AGES since I heard from you" and " I've been wondering what happened to you after we lost contact", I casually mention I have a book out.

At this point, I drop any pretence of actually being interested in their lives and move in for the hard sell, by not just telling them about the book, but helpfully listing all the shops in their area which are stocking it.

At the bottom of the email, just in case they've missed the point, is an unnecessarily large close-up of e-luv on display in Waterstone's in Wrexham.