You don't just become a D-list author overnight. First you have to go through the process of writing not-terribly-good books which, if you're lucky, struggle to get 3 figure sales. Such was the fate of my long-forgotten literary debut, An Opener's Tale
, the story of a cricketer who was - you guessed it - an opener. It came out in 1986, the year Wham! broke up and was last seen on the remainder table outside the now defunct London Books in Wellington. Spookily, London Books closed down and was replaced by a cosmetic shop - where Pepsi (but not Shirlie) from Wham! now works.