Things I have been doing while waiting for my book to move up from its Amazon.co.uk Sales ranking of 235,516

WATCHING way too much TV. I seem to have developed an addiction to X-Factor and an unnatural liking for Eton Road, a bunch of young scallywags who appear on it.
PLAYING on a brilliant site where you put your photo up and some kind of face recognition computer trickery tells you which celeb you look like. I'm a dead ringer for Donald Sutherland, apparently, while Mrs Roberts resembles someone called Kristanna Loken.
THINKING it would be a tragedy to go through life without tasting Oatibix.
LISTENING to Recycled Air by The Postal Service, Waterfall by The Stone Roses, Yoshimi vs The Pink Robots by Flaming Lips, Born Under a Bad Sign by Richard Hawley, California Snow Story by Saint Etienne and The Dark Is Rising by Mercury Rev.
READING Temptation by Douglas Kennedy, which is as fabulous as I expected.
TRYING UNSUCCESSFULLY to get an agent.
WONDERING if anyone is buying e-luv. They certainly aren't on Amazon, Waterstone's are stocking fewer copies than before and I haven't heard from the publisher in ages.
URGING anyone who sees these cards to buy them, so I can afford to eat.