Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Person of the Week

It's Sean Thomas, leading literary figure and author of Millions of Women are Waiting to Meet you, who responded to a recent post with this outstanding tantrum:


I wrote Millions of Women are Waiting to Meet You.

Rubbish, eh?

You may want to know it went to number 6 on amazon. It has also sold 20,000 copies here in the UK, in hardback alone. So far. And it has been sold to Germany, Italy, Norway, Korea, Spain, Russia and America - the latter for a very healthy five figure sum.

We have additionally had four offers for the film rights.

How many did your dismal litle tract sell, you tiny-dicked Kiwi? Go on, fuck off back to the land of the long white loser, you wankstain on the duvet of literature with you.

Only kidding mate. Happy New Year!

Sean T

14 Comments:

Blogger Caroline said...

You are having a laugh! No way!
Is this made up?????
Which bit is he only kidding about?????? I am hoping that it is the 'tiny-dicked kiwi' bit ;-0

Fabulous! I want to read his novel now ;-0 oh and e-luv again ... of course!

3:30 AM  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

What is so very interesting about this man is that if you read his book, you are left with the impression that he is attractive. That he must be nice looking in some way (and that doesn't necessarily mean handsome). That he must have something going for him, otherwise how would he have attracted all these hundreds of women?

And then you see his photograph and you think, Oh yes, of course! That's the kind of over-posed cockmonkery of a photograph that people on internet dating sites use when they're fuck-ugly (not unlike a deep sea fish crossed with an albino toad), and have something to hide.

I am of course just jealous of anyone who actually gets round to writing a book about their internet dating experiences. Mine seem so very, very long ago; back in the days when men were men and posted pictures of themselves gurning in passport photograph booths. But this small fact does not detract from the fact that I actually laughed when I saw his author photograph. The photograph that isn't on his book. The photograph that I went and looked up because I was very, very curious to find out what he looked like.

Ah me.

5:34 AM  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

What is so very interesting about this man is that if you read his book, you are left with the impression that he is attractive. That he must be nice looking in some way (and that doesn't necessarily mean handsome). That he must have something going for him, otherwise how would he have attracted all these hundreds of women?

And then you see his photograph and you think, Oh yes, of course! That's the kind of over-posed cockmonkery of a photograph that people on internet dating sites use when they're fuck-ugly (not unlike a deep sea fish crossed with an albino toad), and have something to hide.

I am of course just jealous of anyone who actually gets round to writing a book about their internet dating experiences. Mine seem so very, very long ago; back in the days when men were men and posted pictures of themselves gurning in passport photograph booths. But this small fact does not detract from the fact that I actually laughed when I saw his author photograph. The photograph that isn't on his book. The photograph that I went and looked up because I was very, very curious to find out what he looked like.

Ah me.

5:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. Touche.

I might even read your book now!

Sean T

6:50 AM  
Blogger Cat said...

Surely you jest?

(And I was meant to be Person of the Week, so this is a bit unfair...)

12:05 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

Come on Dave ... own up. This is a wind up isn't it??????

2:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A SUPERB hands-on-hip hissy fit of queenly proportions.

As for the almost Wildean 'wankstain on the duvet of literature'- I wish I'd said that.

(You will, anonymous, you will...)

4:08 PM  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Not joking. If Sean T did in fact visit Dave's site to look at responses to his comment, I am happier than anyone has the right to be, ever.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Dave said...

Caroline, this is no wind up - it was from the man himself. Do you think he likes me?
NWM - You are a tinker, aren't you? Did he really attract hundreds of women? Do you think I should use his photo in future?
Cat - You are the Diana of the e-luv blogspot - the Person of the Week of our hearts.
Sean T - I wouldn't. It's rubbish.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Clare said...

Dave, I can't get your "xtra" email address to work...

1:40 AM  
Blogger Mikey said...

Ah. Such defensiveness. Methinks he doth be a cunt too much.

4:18 AM  
Blogger Jude said...

OMG! That's Unbelieveable! I must track down the photograph NWM speaks of to see for myself.

8:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh. If you want to see even more handsome pictures of me, you must visit my blog:


www.toffeewomble.blogspot.com


Incidentally, my book sold curiously well in New Zealand. Guess internet dating is an attractive alternative to doing the sheep. Again.

9:56 AM  
Blogger NON-WORKINGMONKEY said...

Sweet Jesus and all his attending monkeys.

3:46 PM  

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