Monday, October 30, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
reFRESH magazine. It's the gay lifestyle magazine which blends high culture with frankly attractive young men, like Sam who is on the cover of November's edition. But do not look at Sam. Look instead at the book review section, where you will find a pleasing review of Britain's best-loved internet romance novel. The bit I like best is where it says: "the outrageously funny writing by Dave Roberts has produced a witty and perceptive tale for our times". I have cleverly ensured the type is too small to read, meaning you will have to take my word that they really said that.
My elderly aunt reads e-luv
She also mentioned that she had passed it on to her friend Nora, but not to worry about lost royalties because Nora "never would have bought it".
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
I have no friends.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Win a cyberdate with Lord Brett Sinclair.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Many of you will be wondering "what can I get Dave for Xmas?". Well, wonder no more. Today I found myself at amazon.co.uk for reasons which will be obvious to regular readers. But apart from checking my own dismal ranking, I also like to see if there's any sign of Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, the greatest comedy ever, coming out on DVD. And now it has. So even if you don't get it for me, I urge you to buy it for yourself by going here.
Monday, October 16, 2006
10 things I have learned since having my book published
2. Interviews with the press can last for the best part of an hour, giving plenty of opportunity for sparkling anecdotes, charming asides and sharing of innermost thoughts. After all that, they end up using one throwaway line.
3. For every ten people who promise faithfully they're going to buy the book, one or two actually do.
4. Google is not the best search engine to find mentions and reviews. MSN is better.
5. You get mad emails from incarcerated defrocked priests who have written conspiracy-theory books and think you can help get them published.
6. Many reviewers don't actually read the books they're reviewing.
7. Even if you proofread the book a zillion times, mistakes still creep through.
8. It is impossible to convince people that not everything in e-luv happened to me in real life and that it just happened to a fictional character called Trevor in a book.
9. When you're convinced your book will be mainly bought by men in their forties, it is disconcerting to discover that teenage girls seem to be the ones buying it.
10. Bad reviews are nowhere near as upsetting as I thought they'd be. Mind you, I've only had one so far (thanks, Luica), so this could change.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Contemporary romance novels. You thought they were about girls called Poppy who work at a dull provincial solicitor's office and have a series of hilarious misunderstandings before realising that the bloke they worked alongside was the love of her life all along.
Actually, that's not entirely fair. Books by some of the more entertaining authors around (Sophie Kinsella, Lisa Jewell) are put in that category. But I digress. The point is that Waterstone's website has one book to recommend to you in their romance category. And guess what it is? that's right. Singapore's best-loved internet romance novel.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Separated at birth? The Rickman debate continues.
The ONLY topic of chat on the internet currently is: "Does Alan Rickman look like Dave Roberts?"
Marlina from Indonesia inadvertently reignited the controversy with her post on an Alan Rickman site, where she spoke of: "A guy called Dave from New Zealand who think he looks like Alan..
I think he did look a bit like Alan (or try to), especially his nose.. but he didn't posses the bump.. and neither does he possess the sex appeal LOL"
Well. No sex appeal? Moi? I was hurt. Outraged. So I put a post up asking what everyone else thought, in the hope of getting a few cheap compliments from an out-of-date photo that doesn't look much like me. You can see the results of my efforts here.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Person of the Week
Disclaimer: The obsequious tone of this blog entry is in no way connected with the fact that I will eventually be looking for a publisher for e-luv's sequel.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Reader's Review - Number 2
To start with, I only agreed to buy e-luv because Dave was awarding Person of the Week. And I’d never won anything before. And also I thought that he’d link me on his blogroll as a result. (He still hasn’t by the way).(I have now - Dave)
So I bought two copies. And they weren’t on 3for2. And I read e-luv. And now I want more. I want to know what happens next. I NEED TO KNOW. E-luv is strangely-addictive reading. Seriously. You can’t put it down. So buy e-luv. Switch everything off and sit on a comfy chair. Then read away.(And try not to have outlandish fantasies about Lord Brett Sinclair!) E-luv is guaranteed to make you chuckle, it’ll warm your cockles on these cold nights and it may even make you wet your pants.
My life has changed since I bought e-luv. I think that Mr Roberts is actually a jolly nice wizard man with magic powers. And then he offered me immortality if I wrote a review. So how could I resist.
So buy e-luv. Read e-luv. Write a review for e-luv. Then you can live forever, like me.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Singaporean non-lesbian cybersex
This is the island of Singapore which has seen a sudden outbreak of non-lesbian cybersex, apparently prompted by the adventures of Lord Brett Sinclair in the must-have book of 2006, e-luv. I urge you to go to the site in question immediately, despite the fact it seems to encourage reading books in Borders instead of actually buying them.Those of an impatient disposition may wish to skip the first two paragraphs, but all will be explained in the third, just under the pictures.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Person of the Week
I am such a SAP! I had a look at Dave's site and the first thing I saw....an empty fridge! I felt so sorry for him I immediately ordered the book - it bloody well better be good!
A deja vu review
You probably can't read this review from Knowledge, my drum'n'bass mag of choice. But it doesn't matter! That's because the content is eerily familiar. Phrases like "What happens when online dating turns out to be better than an actual human encounter?"will ring a bell with anyone who has read e-luv's back cover. The only bit that I didn't recognise was the suggestion that "You should take a look at this downright funny book".
Another review is on Trashionista, while non-working monkey who has the funniest site EVER, does her bit to help me fill my fridge.